


A Moment Holding Everything

by Summertime_Poet



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: AU, Death!Josh, Life!Tyler, M/M, and, but there's a good reason as for why this is not the case here, i'm aware that most people would probably rather expect them to be the opposite, life and death au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 11:16:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6468076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summertime_Poet/pseuds/Summertime_Poet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the <i>in-between</i>, the concept of time does not exist.<br/>In the <i>in-between</i>, colors surround both Life and Death, but behind the other they can always only see an impenetrable grey.</p><p>Tyler and Josh meet in the middle every time a person crosses over, ever since the beginning of time itself.<br/>There is no beginning to their uncommon relationship, and it seems unlikely there will ever be an end to it.</p><p>But then the dance of Life and Death comes to an abrupt halt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Moment Holding Everything

**Author's Note:**

> As Tyler and Josh are Life and Death, there will obviously be mentions of death/people dying, but... there are like two. And nothing explicit. It merely states that the people accompany them in the in-between as their protégés. That's about it. Idk. There's nothing explicit whatsoever in this fanfic and maybe the slightest bit of angst (but also not really), so maybe 'light hurt/comfort' fits the best. Just... thought I'd mention that here. I don't wanna scare off anyone with the kind of AU this is, and being the fluff person I am I don't think I could ever write something super dark/angsty anyway, so. *shrugs* I hope you'll enjoy the fanfic! ^_^

Tyler, the incarnation of Life itself, and Josh, the incarnation of Death, had always been seeing each other. Whilst ‘always’ didn’t mean every moment of their eternal existence, it DID mean that they both had always been there and had known each other.

They were not trapped by the frame that the concept of time set all things living, so between their continuous meetings whenever a person passed over, there was all the time one could imagine. Sometimes it was what humans would describe as (literal) multiple lifetimes until they would see each other again, and whilst they were probably each the thing the other knew the best, there was no actual yearning for the other, but also no repelling feelings. It was like neighbors who saw each other once in a while, but there being more to it. What that ‘bit’ that was more to their inextricable relationship was though... it was not explicable in mere words.

 

Tyler, as long as he could remember, had always asked Josh what Death was like. Josh had always refused to reply, telling Tyler to better not try to find an answer somehow, and faded into the grey as he walked away with the latest person crossing over. Sometimes Josh would smile and shake his head, looking into the distance over Tyler’s back. Tyler knew he could only see impenetrable grey behind Tyler, just as it was the case for himself when he tried to take a glance at what came after him, when people met Josh. “There are colors,” Josh had once offered, not giving Tyler more information, but just enough for them both to figure out that they could always only see their own realm, but no further. “As are here,” Tyler had replied.

 

**

“Do they remember?” Tyler asked him once. “You mean...,“ Josh didn’t get around finishing the question he wanted to ask, as Tyler already continued. “Life, dying... _the in-between_?” “Depends,” he answered truthfully. “I talk to them every once in a while. ...they seem to remember most of their lives. Often not the very end when they were conscious during it, but the rest ... the _in-between_...” Josh looked at him apologetically. “I’m afraid they don’t seem to remember passing over. They...” he searched for the words of an old woman he had once talked to about this matter. “It’s like... pushing a pause button on their life, and then, when someone presses ‘play’ again, they are here.” He pointed behind him.

“So they forget about me.” Tyler’s eyes looked hollow and he shrank into himself a bit, appearing even slimmer than usual. Josh wanted to hug him so badly, but he admonished himself not to. It didn’t seem... right. Not right then.

Instead, he settled for what he knew about the truth. “They do remember _you_ though. Sometimes they ask whether you are still around, and when I tell them that you never left, they smile.” He was pleased when Tyler’s gaze met his, and his eyes looked less hollow – but tear-filled – now. “You matter to them.”

When Tyler had entrusted Josh with his latest protégé and was already on his way back, he was still sobbing.

 

**

“Sometimes I wonder what Life must be like,” Josh once pondered when they were standing opposite each other, giving the soul accompanying Tyler this time a break from the walk, and engaging themselves with their usual small talk. “Trust me, you don’t wanna know.” Tyler sighed heavily, not meeting Josh’s gaze, staring at his shoulder. “It sucks.”

“I doubt it,” Josh replied. Tyler then had lifted his gaze and shook his head in disbelief. “Don’t –“ “No, you don’t seem to see what I mean. I get to meet all those souls, all those beautiful beings... and they meet their families again and are happy, eventually, but... I know that what they have here cannot be comparable to what they had when they had... Life. It’s hard to explain, but I would – excuse the wording – die to be alive. If I could even ever quit being myself. Which... is impossible. But I really mean it.” Tyler shook his head again. “You really don’t want to see Life the way those people do, the way I do, every single instant of my existence. It’s not fun and games. People DIE, Josh. Eventually, but surely. There is no point to living. There is no point to anything. They can get only this far and then everything is taken from them again. There’s just no point, and no break. There’s just pain and loss and... and. ...none of them ever asked to live, neither did they ask that their eventual death was gonna be a part of that packet. It’s just. Unnecessary. Sometimes I wish I was dead.” He looked up, meeting Josh’s gaze. Josh who was only looking at him bewilderedly after his short rant. “You should not wish for that.” He reached out, tempted to take Tyler’s hand and persuade him that he was living Josh’s dream, but stopped just before his hand touched him. “Please.”

Tyler looked away, turning around to gently lead his protégé a few steps forward to meet Josh. “Here you go,” he whispered. “Take care.” He said it to the young man, but it was Josh who replied, looking him deeply into the eyes. “I will take care of him. I promise.” Tyler didn’t say a word after that, and they both continued their journey back into their realms. _'Until next time,'_ was a thought that lingered on both their minds as a non-physical distance started to stretch between them again.

 

**

 

Josh looked down at the little girl with knitted eyebrows. He didn’t say a word as he was looking her over for external wounds, but couldn’t make out a damn thing. He looked up to Tyler, standing next to her with his back bend a little and his hand on the girl’s shoulder. “What happened?”

External wounds or internal wounds were never visible once someone was crossing over, so he was always having a hard time figuring out what brought a person, even more so when they were of young age, to this place. It was even harder when the person was young, and had chosen to be there on their own. It hurt a lot.

He hoped Tyler would someday understand why he wanted him to be happy about being Life. Being alive, as much as he could be by being what he was. He would always be more alive than Josh, and Josh envied him for it, but was also incredibly happy for him.

“Fell off a tree on the playground. The stone was too hard for her back and her head.” Tyler looked away, anywhere but at Josh or the little girl who seemed to occupy herself by playing with a little rag doll whilst she waited for the journey to continue.

Josh’s facial expression hardened and he bit on his lips. Tyler noticed the signs of stress instantly. His sharp intake of breath and his slightly clenched fists as he tried to calm down. “Death’s not fair,” he had once told Tyler. “Neither is Life,” Tyler had replied, shaking his head as he did ever so often when talking about themselves with Josh. “That’s the way it is, I guess.”

Now, Josh was once again walking away with his latest protégée. However, as she was still a kid – _'a dead kid,'_ Tyler’s mind helpfully provided – he chose to carry her on his shoulders, holding onto her legs as he continued her journey with her into the grey.

Tyler waited for some time until he turned around and once again went back to the ones left behind living.

 

*

 

Josh was just spending some alone-time in the in-between when sobbing sounds caught his attention. Even without knowing for a fact that only he and Tyler (and their protégés, and only in their presence) could enter this space, he would recognize that voice everywhere.

A cry of anger and despair, only disrupted by sobs coming from the same source, led his way to the line. The one that divided his realm and Tyler’s. That line was right next to where Tyler was sitting on the ground with his legs pulled up to his chest, head in his hands. The line was always right between them. It always was. There was no changing that, or so said the rules. Whoever’s rules they were.

 

“I- I tried,” Tyler pressed out between his teeth, still sobbing and voice coming out muffled from behind his hands. He didn’t even seem to need to look up to simply _know_ Josh was there. Josh felt his heart clench at the sight of Tyler visibly suffering – from whatever it was – so much. He wanted to help him and make it stop. Take away the pain.

 

“I tried to pass over” was the whispered confession leaving Tyler’s lips. “I know I’m not human. That it would not work. That I can’ leave my spot in existence and...” Josh stepped closer, as much as he could without touching Tyler. “...come closer to you.” Josh almost stumbled.

He didn’t notice the tears falling down his cheeks as he crouched down next to Tyler, letting himself fall down to what could be described as the ‘ground’ of the _in-between_ after another moment. He tried to catch Tyler’s gaze, but Tyler’s head was still buried underneath his crossed arms and hands. Josh started shaking, so worried about Tyler and sorry for him. So sorry for himself. For themselves. He shifted, moving around so he sat opposite to where Tyler was still blocking himself from everything... and from Josh. After a small eternity that they both spent without speaking, and crying for the most part, Tyler started to move, slowly. He lifted his head a little bit and was instantly greeted with Josh’s watery gaze and red eyes.

“Please... please- promise me something?” Josh fought out. Tyler looked at him with sad eyes. “I’m not sure if I can. Not if you’re going to ask me that one thing I’m sure you’re gonna ask me... _not_ to do now.” Josh inhaled heavily. “No. I know I can’t ask for that much, I know. But... I would love it if you could stick around with me. Just... don’t leave me. I know it’s selfish to ask that much, but I couldn’t bear any of this if it weren’t for you... being here.” He let his head sink down to his knees for a second before looking up to Tyler again, waiting for any kind of reply. “I...” Tyler sighed. “Okay.” “Okay?” “Yeah. ... I couldn’t do this without you either, and it would be incredibly selfish to put you in such a position. In case... you know. This would... work.” He looked away, over his own back and at the colors laying behind him. The smallest of smiles formed on his lips as something in his realm seemed to catch his attention for a second. He huffed out a quiet laugh and reached up to wipe away some of the slowly drying tears on his face.

 

He still looked pale and worn out, skin oddly colored ( _'almost like porcelain,'_ Josh thought), but at least he looked slightly less sad now. Josh felt like he should do something to make the sadness go away completely... _for good_. He felt like kissing it all away, once and for all. _Now._

 

He ignored all the alarm bells that went off in his head as he bobbed up as fast as he could, staggering a bit on the way. Before he knew what he was doing (lie. He knew pretty well what he was about to do. What he had always been thinking about doing.), he stood over Tyler, giving him an asking gaze before pulling him up, holding the other by his arms.

“We- “

There were no implosions. Things went on as they always had. Josh let out a sigh as eternal relief washed over him. And then he heard Tyler sigh too.

“Gosh, I had feared-“ “I always thought something bad would-“ “I’m so glad that-“ “Can I touch you again?”

Tyler blushed visibly at Josh’s request. “Uh... sure?” He held out his hand, and Josh carefully took it into his own hands, tracing the bones underneath Tyler’s skin. “I...” This time it was Josh shaking his head. “What’s up?” Tyler looked at Josh and, when the other didn’t return his gaze, used his free hand to gently turn Josh’s head to look at him again. “What’s the matter?”

Josh went conspicuously tense for a short moment- but then, oblivious to his fingers tracing Tyler’s hand again, looked at him intensely with the warmest gaze Tyler ever recalled having received from him. “Can I hug you?”

Tyler was amazed that the same thought hadn’t passed his mind yet. ...well. Not today. In all honesty though, it had already. Several times. Especially at times he cared so much about Josh that it made him feel as though he being was torn apart on the inside. That what one could call his ‘heart’... was being torn apart.

And that he was the reason that Josh felt like hugging him now.

Apparently he had said that last part aloud. Because now Josh was looking at him with an odd gaze that turned into a loving one when he spoke up, voice gone soft. “I always wanted to hug you. It’s not the circumstances that made me want to do that. They merely triggered me forgetting about the line that apparently- never existed between us.” The last part came out muffled as he found himself pressed to Tyler, head buried in Tyler’s neck the instant they connected. The planes of existence still didn’t implode or turn into a total chaos.

“Why do you have to be Death?” The question was the quietest Josh had ever heard Tyler speak.

“Why are you Life?”

Tyler shook his head at his response. “I don’t know.” He sighed. “Why is anything the way it is?”

“If I knew the answer... if I ever find out... I promise I will tell you the instant I do.” Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler’s back and closed his eyes. “I’m not sure if there is an answer that we will ever find out or figure out. Maybe that wasn’t meant to happen.” Tyler shrugged in response, the movement reaching every part of Josh as he was still closely holding onto the other. “Maybe _this_ was though,” Tyler guessed. He moved back a bit and Josh let go of him, only to take Tyler’s hands into his again as he looked at him expectantly, waiting for a clarification.

He did not expect Tyler to pull away one of his hands only to move it up to Josh’s face mere moments later. He felt as though there was a flower blooming up inside of him when Tyler’s hand touched his cheek, and he was sure that this was the closest he would ever get to feel alive, to feel _Life_ itself, when Tyler cupped his cheek with his hand and looked at him with eyes that no longer seemed hollow and dulled by tears. “ _This_ ,” Tyler said, as if it would clarify what he meant, but then leaned in, gently pressing his lips on Josh’s.

 

A soft “Oh” escaped Josh’s lips as he responded to the kiss, washing away all their worries for the first time. So this was Life for him. ...and Death for Tyler, he realized.

His heart... his heart... It felt so- _alive?_

 

 

 

And then, at once, all planes of existence collided and collapsed.

 

For the eternal dance of Life and Death had been interrupted.

Had come to a halt.

 

And then, just like that, everything was gone.

 

 

 

****

 

..:.Epilogue.:..

 

There were two shadows... two men, sitting in the front of the car.

The passenger awoke to the sound of utter silence, the car driving so carefully one couldn’t even hear the engine, only feel the wheels turning underneath every few seconds.

“Where are we going again?”

The two shadows exchanged a glance before the driver turned back to look at the street and the other man looked out of the side window.

“We’re driving towards the morning sun.”

There was no doubt in the driver’s voice whatsoever, so the passenger only nodded his agreement and went back to sleep.

The driver, skeleton fingers gripping the wheel and heartbeat calm as always, looked aside, once again meeting the gaze of his red-haired, sallow greyish co-driver. They exchanged a smile, and continued their journey in content silence, knowing that things were okay.

 

**..:.--.:..**

 

 _Nothing lasts forever. But sometimes a moment_ is _timeless and you will find everything you were ever looking for in it._

**Author's Note:**

> The epilogue was obviously inspired by [Taxi Cab](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzRnXGifjmE) ^^  
> The main idea behind it is basically that everything is getting a new chance (after _everything_ collided and collapsed), as do Tyler and Josh, who are now both a mix of who they and who the other respectively used to be (hence the skeleton fingers and the greyish skin). They now aren't busy accompanying people from Life to Death anymore, but instead are able to bring people back home and undo what they did (aka steal them from their fate). (Yep, Taxi Cab really inspired that bit, and I'm thankful for that and for this incredible song, too, obviously  <3 )
> 
> (Gonna crosspost this over on my [drabble blog](http://www.patsdrabbles.tumblr.com) and my [deviantART account](http://www.murderous-coffeebean.deviantart.com) as per usual :) )
> 
> I had lots of fun writing this and I hope you enjoyed it! ^_^


End file.
